Behenchara

POETRY

Artwork by Azqa Azim

BY: A.K

(1)

do you realize how precious you are
i can’t breathe when you hold my hand
i think i should start carrying an oxygen tank
/
you say that it would be okay if i married someone else
do you even realize the impact of your words
darling, if we lived in ancient Greece
I’d start a war for you
/
the broken idea of forever is making me drench my pillow with tears
because what type of a god does not want people to be happy
but I’ll keep tying your shoelaces
and I’ll stay when we’re making mistakes
/
because even my palms recognize
the way your hand fits into mine
and maybe that’s enough of a forever for now
/
kiss me under the moonlight
where the stars shine the brightest
show me what it feels like to enter a burning house
and come out alive

(2)

i hold her hand as we walk through the field
the way she scrunches her face makes my heart race
‘nervous’
i tell her
you make me nervous
/
the type of nervous i feel when I’m playing a horror game
i can hear my heartbeat in my ears
like an adrenaline rush
the good kind
/
so its unfair that i don’t get to kiss you everyday
i take my time getting used to people and now that my brain has made space for you
It’s like it can’t figure out which box to put you in
because i see you everywhere
it’s like the universe is plotting against me
because this is overwhelming and difficult and so, so worth it
/
my heart still skips a beat when you smile against my mouth
meri jaan
I want to hold you against my body until my mind is certain that you’re real
/
and maybe thunderstorms do scare me
and maybe I am scared of the world ending
and maybe you’re the only thing I’ll ever be sure of
because you feel like home

(3)

i really wish i could kiss her
put my hands in her hair and whisper promises in her ear
under the moonlight
she looks so pretty under the stars
all butterflies and flowers and rain
/
there are bruises on my chest
and
they don’t hurt when you touch them, love
and they say blood is thicker than water
so I’ve been spending hours removing the stains from the white shirt you gave me
i̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶w̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶d̶a̶y̶
/
i don’t want to leave
don’t want you to think that I’m a coward
but lately my heart feels like it’s stuck in my throat
barbed wires wrapped around it
/
tracing constellations on the small of your back
your fingertips touching the broken wings at my shoulder blades
and yet you say
that i am complete
not some broken piece you call art and hang up on the wall in your living room
/
tell me
is this what lovers do
do you see the moon when you look at me at night
am i your Achilles’ heel too
or is it just me
hanging on the edge of the world by one hand
until you give up on me

or my lungs do

 

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