Ideally for this specific issue, both Alina and I should have something very profound to say, given the theme and its magnitude, given our name. However, when faced with something as impactful, powerful and magnanimous as Behenchara, we are reduced to very few words.
Female friendship is one of the strongest most indestructible forces known to humans. It’s secret powers strengthen and heal womxn, while simultaneously pose as a monstrous threat to men. If there’s one brave knight who can throw the successors of patriarchy off of their thrones, its female unity/friendship or as we call it – Behenchara. The more intricately we build female bonds to be, the less space patriarchy and misogyny will have. Eventually, in time, there will be no sign of the oppressor.
When I started Behenchara, I had a secret hope in my heart to do a whole issue on female friendships, because of how closely I have observed its healing powers but also how painful it can be when misused, or actually, not used at all. I believe it’s increasingly vital for us to preach the need for sticking to your womxn friends, by their sides, holding their hands (Unless there is an abusive dynamic, then separate yourself as much as you can. Abuse knows no gender, mostly). My female friendships are the village who raised me but also once or twice have been the calamity that tore me down. In the later cases, the womxn who hurt me were deeply contaminated by patriarchy. Or maybe they were just shit people. Same thing more or less. This is why, I feel it is so so pressing of an issue for us to sit daughters, womxn, , sisters down and educate them on how to keep our female relationships pure off of patriarchy and WHY to do so. We must, build bonds that create spaces in our hearts for womxn to rest in. There is no other way around it. Behenchara is a need.
You and I and all of our fellow sisters have seen how female unity is creating change and reforms now more than ever, in Pakistan. I know many of us tend to fall deep in the blues when we see patriarchy and misogyny still prevalent, but we must realize that it is only a matter of time till that will be gone from human nature too. We ARE making a difference, we ARE giving birth to change. Resistance is normal and expected, especially when patriarchy has been a default since forever. But don’t lose hope, and please don’t beat yourself up. Our behenchara is creating a revolution like any other. And as long as we have our pinky’s intertwined with each other’s, patriarchy stands no chance to the havoc we are creating.
Hold the womxn in your life a little closer to your hearts tonight.