Dear Appa,

 Im a 26 year old woman who feels like she cant find love anymore. Its too young to give up, but after a series of devastating breakups and betrayal and what not, I feel hopeless. I’m scared Ill never find love. Im scared of being alone forever. But I feel hopeless. How to find faith in love again, Appa?

Sincerely,

a lover without love

 Ans. Oh my darling darling girl ❤

First off, please just stop everything and give yourself a tight squeeze. There is absolutely noone more beautiful and precious than you in the universe right now and you deserve all the love and care that you wish you had. I know right now, it’s all too dark and scary and there’s nothing worse than being alone at a time like that. Would you trust me if I told you that this hurt that you feel is actually growth. And growth hurts sucks right now because growth hurts so bad.

But this pain has a silver lining, if you dare to stay there and feel your own soul. What makes you,you? Why are you so special? Shouldn’t the first person to truly love you , be you?

While this sounds like philosophical and existential psycho mumbo jumbo, you do deserve a shot at happiness with the most key stakeholder in your life, only then can you enjoy any form of love to its fullest with complete abandon. I do know that you have to let go of this fear of being alone. That’s the most natural state of affairs dearest. And anyone who is in our life, is a positive outcome and source of joy with their presence, but you cannot do justice to any love till you learn to accept and love your own self.

Now, how can we fix this?

Baby steps, start taking care of yourself in whatever manner you feel will make you feel slightly better. Every day, set aside one task that’s just for the nurture of your mind, body , heart and soul.

Every night, find 5 things to be grateful for, no matter how mundane they sound. They are your blessings remember.

Then gradually try and start exercise and meditation and even EFT if you can find a coach.  Find things you enjoy. Spend time with you. Make yourself laugh and feel safe.  Let’s fall in love with you first. And what better time for this reflection than now.

Now I want you to report back to me after a a fortnight. The task is simple: just focus on you. You are the centre of your universe and that’s all that matters my dear.

And let me tell you, love and what you think it entails, it takes the most surprising forms at times. So prepare to be wowed.

Love,

Appa

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